Hindi Santa Banta Jokes Sms, Santa Banta Funny Sms, Santa Banta Hindi Jokes

Hello Friends, Today we have posted some Hindi Santa Banta Jokes Sms, Santa Banta Funny Sms, Santa Banta Hindi Jokes. In this post you will get most popular Hindi Santa Banta Jokes Sms, Santa Banta Funny Sms, Santa Banta Hindi Jokes in Hindi English font.



Hindi Santa Banta Jokes SMS:

Phone ki ring baji. Santa: phone mere liye ho toh kehna main ghar pe nahin hoon.
Banta phone pe: woh ghar pe hain.
Santa: maine mana kiya tha,
Banta: phone mere liye tha.

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Santa doctor se : aap ne nurse bahut achchhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.


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Santa: oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka ek rupiya leti hai.
Banta: oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se toh woh 5 rupiya leti hai.

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Santa: main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mujhe 1000 rupiya chahiye.
Banta: dost hi dost de kaam nahi aayega toh kaun aayega, le 10 rupiya, riksha kar ke jaa aur purse le aa.

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Teacher : Santa yeh batao Tense kitne tarah ke hote hain?
Santa : teen maidam.
Teacher : Sabaas Beta, teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj main usey pyaar karta
Hun aur kal main usey bhaga kar le jaunga.

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Banata : Wife ko begam kyun kehte hain.
Santa : kyun ki shaadi ke baad sare gum toh husband
Ke hisse mein aate hain, aur biwi be-gam ho jati hai..

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Banta: jab main paida hua tha toh military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi.
Santa: kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya aur tu bach gaya?

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Santa : kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul gobar jaisa swaad hai.
Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya kya kha ke dekha hua hai.

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Daku mangal singh santa ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: sona kahan hai, jaldi batao
Santa: pura ghar khali hai malik, jahan marzi so jao.

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Santa ne kuch sochkar kaha- “pitaji, main tumhe apni baarat me nahi
le jaunga.”
Pita ne tajoob hokar kaha- “kyun bhai, aisi kya baat hai?”
Santa ne kaha- “aap bhi mujhe apni baarat me nahi le gaye the”

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Banta- “aapke ghar me aag lag gayi hai”
Santa- “chinta karne ki zaroorat nahi hai, ghar ka bimaa hai.”
Banta – “lekin aapki patni andar jal rahi hai.”
Santa– “koi fikr nahi, uska bhi bimaa hai.

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Santa Army Camp me...
Pappu- 3+5?
Santa- 8
Pappu- 8+2?
Santa- 10
Pappu- 8+8?
Santa- pata nahi sir, kaise bataun
Mere paas toh sirf 10 hi ungli hai.

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Santa ko koi mobile pe tang karta tha.
Santa ne naya sim kharid kar use sms kiya
"Maine woh sim band kar diya hai

Ab tera baap bhi tang nahi kar sakta"

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Banta: truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyun ho?
Santa: ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha,
Banta: woh tum ko nahi lega?

Santa: nahi, mujhe har baar lagta hai jaise woh usko wapas karne aaya hai.

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Santa ne ek number call lagaya: ek ladki ne phone uthaya
Santa: kaun ho?
Girl: Sita .
Santa: maine toh Lucknow phone kiya tha,
Yeh toh Ayodhya mil gaya.

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Santa: ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do,
Mere dost aa rahe hain.
Banta: kyun, aapke dost chura lenge.

Santa: nahin, pehchaan lenge.

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Ladki : mujhse shaadi karoge?
Santa: nahin, humare yehan shaadi sirf relatives me hi hoti hai.

Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se.

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Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?

Santa: puchh mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.

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Santa: woh ladki kitni sundar hai,
Banta: mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: kya naam hai uska?
Banta: woh bank mein kaam karti hai,

Uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha.

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Banta: woh ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hun, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.
Santa: kaise?

Banta: maine kaha "i love you", toh woh boli 'maine kal hi naye sandal kharide hain'

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Daku Mangal Singh Santa ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan
hai, jaldi batao

Santa: pura ghar khali hai malik, jahan marzi so jao.

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Santa apni khoobsurat Biwi ke saath car mein baitha.
Driver ne sheesha set kiya.

Santa gusse mein bola, meri biwi ko dekhkta hai, pichhe baith, car mein chalaunga.

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Santa: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bada afsos hua, waise hua kya tha?
Banta: Goli lagi thi mathe mein.

Santa: Bhagwan ka shukar kar ki aankh bach gayi.

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Banta : Aao ji chess khelein,

Santa : Tu chal main sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

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Lady Doctor: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyun ghurte ho?

Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9 am to 11 am.
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Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye.
Banta: To phir ubalne ki kya zarurat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye.

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Santa : main bachpan mein das mahalle ke building se gir gaya tha.
Banta : aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ya tapak gaya?

Santa: yaad nahin hai yaar. Bahut purani baat hai.

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Santa: Doctor sahab, main chashma laga ke padh toh sakunga,
Doctor: Haan, bilkul,

Santa: Toh phir theek hai doctor sahab warna anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.

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Santa: Raat film mein ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere pichhe ghoom rahi thi,
Banta: Koun si film thi,
Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi.

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Captain : Nojawano aage badho,
Santa aage nahin badha,
Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin badhe,
Santa: Aapne kaha 9 jawanon aage badho, main 10 number pe tha.

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Santa: itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.

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Ek din santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala – I Love You.
Premika (gusse se) : jara pyaar se nahi keh sakte?
Santa : I Love You Didi.

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Autowala to santa : sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : sahab ye toh gundagardi hai, meter ki hisaab se 100 rupaye hue hain.
Santa : tu bhi toh baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena
Parega.

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Santa : Doctor saahab! Main apna dimaag daan karna chahta hun.
Doctor : Hoga toh hum le lenge,

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Santa seedi par chade hue ghar ki chhat par rang laga raha tha. Banta waha aaya.
Banta- “Santa, tumne brush majbooti se
Pakda hua hai na?”
Santa- “Haan! Kyun?”
Banta- “main thodi der ke liye seedi le jaa raha hun”

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Santa ne Banta se kaha,"sabse bada challenge kya hai?"
Banta : Answer sheet ko khaali chhod do aur last me likh dena,
Paas karke dikha.

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Santa- “achha hua, main maharashtra me
Paida na hua”
Banta- “woh kyun?”
Santa- “kyun ki mujhe toh marathi ka ek akshar
Bhi nahi aata”

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Santa- “doctor sahab, mujhe bar bar yehi sapna
Dikhta hai ki mere paas se hokar sundar sundar
Ladkiyan teji se bhaag rahi hain”
Doctor- “usme mujhse kya chaahte ho?”
Santa- “aap aisi dawa deejiye ki ya toh un ladkiyo
Ki raftaar kuch kam ho jaye ya meri badh jaye”

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Santa- meri patni mera itna khyaal rakhti
Hai ki kal mehmaano ke vidaa hone ke baad jab
Maine usse kaha ki garam paani ka jaldi praband
Karo toh usi waqt paani garam kar diya.
Banta- waah,, lekin us samay bechaari ko paani
Garam karne ka kasht kyun diya?
Santa- kyun ki main thande paani se bartan
Nahi dho sakta tha..

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Sardar roz subha 50 ladkiyan mera intezaar karti hain
Santa- arey waha woh kaise..
Sardar- main girls college bus ka driver hu na.

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Santa bahut din baad apne ek dost se mila
Santa bola : a & b, a & b, a & b, a & b, a & b.
Dost : oye, iska kya matlab?
Santa: kuch nahin yaar, i mean long time no c.

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Santa- kal aapne apne bache ko bahut pita
Aakhir aisi kya galti ho gayi thi usse..
Banta- dar asal do din baad uss badmaash ka
Result nikalne waala hai aur mai aaj hi ek
Mahine ke tour par jaa raha hun.

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Santa- “Doctor sahab,, suna hai aajkal
Saap ke kaatne ka ilaaj ho jaata hai?”
Doctor- “sabka ilaaj ho jaata hai”
Santa- “kuch toh aisa jaroor hoga,
Jiska ilaaj nahi hai?”
Doctor- “haan,, aurat ke kaatne ka
Koi ilaaj nahi hai”

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Santa- “suna hai, tumhari patni ko naukri mil gayi?”
Banta- “haan”
Santa- “kaam kya karti hai?”
Banta- “logo ko chadhati-utaarti hai”
Santa ne hairat se puchha- “kya…?”
Banta ne baat ki safai ki- “bus conductor ho gayi hai”

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Santa - “tumhare dil ki taklif ka kya
Haal hai?”
Banta - “aji, aaj kal woh maayke me hai”

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Teacher : Santa batao M for kya hota hai?
Santa : sir, mother!
Teacher : right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
Santa kuch sochne lagta hai.
Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
Santa : sir, main yeh soch raha tha ki maa ulti kaise ho gayi?


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