Hindi Adult Sms, Hindi Sexy Sms, Hindi Dirty Sms, Adult Hindi Sms Jokes

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Hindi Adult Sms Naughty Jokes SMS:
HONEYMOON
H-hawas mita do
O-or chuso
N-nanga karke
E-ek hi jhatke mein
Y-yeh gaya
M-mar dala
O-or dalo
O-or tez
N-ni..k..a.. l…g..a. y..a



lund pe aitbaar kisko hai…
Mil jaaye chodney ko to inkar kis ko hai…
Kuch mushkilen hai chut paane me dost
Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hai…



PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
SON : papa may bataoo
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
SON : may batata hoo ….. AANKH
PAPA : ohh haan
SON : to kya aap lun samajh rahay thay



Quote of the millenium:- “Prostitution is the only industry where fresh

employees are paid more than the experienced ones”.



Sometimes There Are No Words to Describe
How We Feel About some people in this Life.
BUT
Thank God We Have a Middle Finger.


: kal raat 3 chor aaye aur mera rape karke chale
gaye.Sardar: tumne unhe roka nahi?Sardarni: bahot roka par bole

ab aur taakatnahi hai, kal aayenge



Ik Larki thi dewaani si…

Ik Larkay pe wo mar…

Kuch lena tha usay…

Lakin pregnancy se wo darti thi..

Jab bi milti thi muijhey….

Ye hi pocha karti thi…..

Ye “CONDOM” kAHAN SE MILTA HAI
Ye “CONDOM” kAHAN SE MILTA HAI



Santa and Jeeto were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 10th wedding anniversary.

Jeeto said, “We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon.”

“As you wish,” said Santa.

“Will we do all the things that we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.

“Ok,” said Santa.

“And will we make love like we did on our first honeymoon?” asked Jeeto.

“That’s right,” said Santa, “except this time I get to sit on the side of the bed and cry, ‘It’s too big, it’s too big!’“


Sadhu fati dhoti pehan ker ghar se nikalta hai aur mandir mein

puja ke liye jhukta hai. Ek aurat sadhu ki gand ko gullak samajh kar

us mein ek sikka daal deti hai. Sadhu seedha ho ke bolta hai:

“Ab ghanti bhi bhaja do“



Ladka ladki ke baap se : Main aapki ladki ka haath mangta hoon.

Ladki ka baap : Kuyn. Ladka : Kyon ki ab mera hath thak gaya hai.

Doctor to Old Man!
Baba ji Aapki Neeche Wali Dono Golian Nikaalni Paraingi..

Baba: Nikaal lo Beta.’!
Jab Bandooq hi Nahi Chalti tou goliyan kis kaam ki,




Teacher; Sabse zyada CALCIUM kis DOODH me hota hy?
Boy; 18 saal ki larki me.
Q k ispe MOO lagao to JISM k un hisson me b jaan aajati hy jin me HADDI nahi hoti.




Khubsoorat Larki Doctor se:
Doctor,
main jub cigrette peeti hun to ajeeb becheni si hoti hai, mein pehla kash leti hun to apne shoes utar deti hun, dosre kash mein socks, teesray kash mein shirt utar deti hon or chotay mein.
Doctor: Ye lo G0LD LEAF or tafseel say batao.


Boy 2 Grl: Shadi K Liye Kon C Date Rakhain?
Girl: Hichkchate Huay.. 22 DEC
Boy: Koi Khas Wja?
Girl: Shrmatay Huay.. Suna Hai Saal Ki Sab Se Lmbi Raat Hoti Hai..



Preganent girl se doctor ne pucha. Ye kab hua? Girl: jab mom dad film dekhne gae the, mera boy friend ghar aya tha. Dr: tum sath kyu nahi gayi. girl film adults ki thi.


Maa: beti vo ladka thik nahi jise tu chahti hai. Beti: nahi maa wo Dr~banega, usane to meri wo bimari bhi thik kardi jo mujhe har mahine ho thi.


Mujhe police ne bahot mara aur ek hi baat puchi, tera wo dost kaha hai, jo 50rs me 3 bar gaand marne deta hai, maar khai par dosti ki kasam tera naam nahi liya.


What does a girl mean when she offers you a pepsi? P-please E-enter P-popat S-slowly I-inside. "Aha yeh dil maange more".


Fun- chand ko gurur hai k uske pass noor hai, to kya hua, mujhe bhi gurur hai ke mera sms padhne wala ek langoor hai.....


Sperms in penis talking to each other. "main doctor banuga.. main engineer". Man goes to bathroom 4 hand practise. Sperms: saale ne career khatam kar dala.


Girl tells her boy friend, i am preganent. Boy friend says- how can you say that its mine? Girl starts crying agar sab aisa kahenge to mera kya hoga.


Sardarji's wife shouted in the morning." sunte ho........Billi ne saara duudh pee lia". Sardarji shouted- kitni baar kaha hai ki bra pehen ke soya karo.


Kid breast dekh ke puchta hai. What is this? Mom- gubare. Kid- apne itne chote aur aaya k bade kyu? Mom: tumhe uske kab dekhe. Kid: kal, jab dad hawa bhar rahe the!


Sex karne k bad ladka- darling kuch dino bad tumhe shayad vo hoga jise dunia bacha kehti hai, ladki- tumhe shyad vo hoga jise dunia AIDS kehte hai.


A ladka asked his girl friend to play with his penis. It was her 1st time. After some time she asked- what is the drops coming out? He-kuch nahi ye khushi k asu he......!!!


Suhag raath wife: peeche nahi aage daalte hai. Sardar: tumhe kaise pata? Wife: mera ek dost tha, usne aage dala tha. Sardar chup raho mere dost ne mere peeche dala tha.


Ladki aur tea me hamesha 7 quality dekho. 1-garam ho. 2-gori ho. 3-tez ho. 4-meethi ho. 5-doodh jyada ho. 6-2 minute me taiyar ho jaye. 7-raat ko sone na de.


A lady who lost 3 panties in her house blamed the maid in front of her husband. The maid replied, "saab, aapko to maloom hai main kucchh nahin pehenti".


Teri maa ki, Teri behan ki, Teri chachi ki, Teri nani ki, Teri dadi ki, Teri pure.... Khandan ki tu jaan hai.


Ek raat biwi ne jana-gana-mana gaya. Pati ne puccha kyu? Biwi boli- 'yeh sunkar sara hindustan khada hota hai, shayad aapka bhi khada.. Ho.. Jaye.


Teri meri yaari jaan se pyari usme koi shak nahi. Per sab ne teri gaand mari, kya mera koi hakk nahi..


Narad se ek kanya ne lena chaha pratishod narad ne use patak kar diya chod, kanya boli abe maderchod, kyon chod diya bina nirodh.


Girl: im like a radio. My mouth is like speaker. My left breast is like tuner, right one is volume. Boy: can i try?(touches d boobs) no sound. Girl: abe maderchod pehle plug toh laga.


Mohabbat To Sirf ‘Dil’ Dekh Kar Hi Ki Jati Hai…
‘Ae Dost…’
.
.
Chehra Dekh Kar To Log ‘Setting’ Hi Karte Hai…


Hothon Ko Chhua Usne Ehsaas Ab Tak Hai,
Aankhon Me Nami Or Saanso Me Aag Ab Tak Hai,
Waqt Guzar Gaya Par Uski Yaad Na Gayi,
.
.
Kya ‘PANIPURI’ Thi Yarrr…


Apna Bachcha Roye To Dil Me Dard Hota He,
Aur Dusre Ka Roye To Sar Me.
Apni Biwi Roye To Sar Me Dard Hota He,
Aur Dusre Ki Roye To Dil Me..!


1 Billy Moti,
Usne Pehni Saree,
Saree Pahen Ke Ghumne Gai,
Talav Me To Taherne Gai,
Talav Me Tha Magarmachchh,
Billy Ko Aaye Chakkar,
Saree Ka Chheda Chhut Gaya,
Magarmachchh Sharma Ke Chala Gaya…!!


Ishq Agar Bachpan Me Ho To Wajah Khas Chahiye,
Jawani Me Ho To Ehsaas Chahiye,
Ab B Time He Jaldi Karlo Warna..
Budhape Me Karge To Chyawan Prash Chahiye..


Agar Tum Use Na Paa Sako
.
.
Jisse Tum Pyaar Karte Ho, To..
.
.
Sharam Karo
.
Lao Number Mujhe Do
.
.
Me Try Karta Hoo..


College Wali Masaledar Hoti Hai,
Office Wali Chalu Aur Fiki Hoti Hai,
Ghar Wali Me Test Nahi Ata,
Station Wali Sasti Hoti Hai,
.
.
Jaisi Bhi Ho, Par Chai To Chai Hoti Hai..


Kabhi Sochta Hu Ki Mere Dosto Ke Pass Mere Liye Time Nahi Hai,
.
.
.
Fir Yaad Aata He Ki Yaar Hum Single He, Sab Thodi Ne Hogey..



Ravaan - Bhiksha De Do,
Aurat - Ye Lo,

Ravan - Hiiee Ha Ha..
Main Bhikshuk Nai Ravaan Hoon..

Aurat - Main Bhi Sita Nai Rakhi Sawant Hoon...


Hum Tere Bin Kahi Reh Nahi Pate..
.
.
Tum Nahi Aate To...
.
.
Hum Koi Aur Patate..


Bhikhari - Babu Ji Roti Milegi?
Ander Se Awaj Aai Biwi Ghar Pe Nahi Hai..
Bhikhari - CHUMMA Nahi Manga, Roti Mangi Hai..


Sasur Ne Daamaad Se: 6 Saale Me 8 Bache, Ye Kya Hai?
Daamaad: Maine Aapse Kaha Tha Gareeb Jarur Hu Par Aapki Beti Ko Kabhi Khali Pet Nahi Rakhunga!



Nokrani: Madam Ji, Aap Apna Suit Wapis Lelo,
Jab Me Ye Pehenti Hu To Apko Samajh Kar Saheb Dhyan Hi Nhi Dete,
Or Sala Wo Driver Pichhe Se Aa Kar Lipat Jata Hai!!


1 Aurat Ne Bunty Se Puchha: LIPTON Ki Chah Hai?
Bunty: Mujhe To Nahi He, Par Tujhe He To Lipat Ja..!



Santa Pappu Se: Sukha Talab Kaha He?
Pappu: Pata Nahi.
Santa: Kabhi Ghar Se Bar Bhi Nikla Karo.
Pappu: Banta Kon He?
Santa: Pata Nai.

Pappu: Kabhi Ghar Me Bhi Raha Karo.


School Me Pappu Ke Papa Ne Teacher Se Kaha: Madam Ji, Thodi Aap Koshish Karo, Thodi Hum Mehnat Karte Hai, Bachcha To Nikal Hi Jayega..!


Jab Dekhta Hu To DIL Karta He Pakad Lu,
Jab Pakad Lu To DIL Karta Daba Du,
Jab Daba Du To DIL Karta Chuss Lu,
Kyu Ki Saal Me 1 Baar Hi Aata Hai ‘AAM’ Ka Season..


Aisi Konsi Website He Jise Ladke Aur Ladki Chup Chup Ke Dekhte Hai..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Www.Results.Com
Harbar Aaisi Soch Mat Paida Karo, Thoda To Sudhar Jaao..


Jo STUDENTS paas ho gaye unko
CONGRATULATIONS ...
.
or
.
Jo STUDENTS fail ho gaye unko
DOUBLE CONGRATULATIONS ..
.
.
Kyu ki unki CLASS Me NAYI LADKIYA Hogi..!!


Wife: Hamari Padosi Har Saal
Apne Pati Ke Sath 10 - 15 Din Bahar
Ghumne Jati Hai.
Aap Kabhi Leke Gaye..?
.
.
.
Husband: Mene To 4 - 5 Baar Puchha

Par Wo Nahi Manti He.


Customar: Waiter, Aisi Chai Pilao
Jisko Pee Kar Tan Man Jhum Uthe Aur
Badan Nachne Lage.
Waiter: Sir, Humare Yaha Bheins Ka Dudh Aata Hai,
Shakira Ka Nahi..


Kabhi Hath Pe,
Kabhi Honth Pe,
Kabhi Ankh Pe,
Kabhi Gal Pe,
Kabhi Naak Pe,
.
Kiss
.
.
.
Kadar MAKHIYAN Pareshan Karti Hai Garmi Me..


I Love You
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ka Spelling Thik Hai Ki Nahi Bas Yehi Conform Karna Tha,
Log Pata Nahi Kya Samaj Lete Hai..


Bazar Wali Nazuk Si Hoti He,
Office Wali Naram Naram,
Padosi Wali Ki Patli Si,
Ghar Wali Garma Garam,
Waise Aap Kahan Ki Roti Pasand Karte Ho?


Boy: Tera Naam Kya He?
Girl: Meena, Aur Tumhara?
Boy: Kamina
Girl: Jhut Mat Bolo

Boy: Tum 5mint Pass Beth Ke Dakh Lo Tum Isi Naam Se Bulaogi.



Ladkiwale: Drink Karte Ho?
Ji Haan
Cigarette?
HarRoz
Jua/Satta?
Bilkul
Danga-Fasad?
Adat He
Saari Negative Batein Hai Kuch Positive Bhi He?
Hai Na
.
.
.
.
.
HIV



Bihaari Aurat Cheque Cash Krane Gayi
Clerk: Sign Karo
Aurat: Kaise?
Clerk: Jaise Khat Ke End Me Likhti Ho
Aurat Ne Likha ‘TOHAAR CHUMMA KE INTEJAR Mein…BijLi’.


Aapko Meri Kaunsi Aadat Buri Lagti Hai..
.
.
.
?
.
.
Reply Kiya To Faltu Me Ladai Ho Jayegi..
Jaisa Chal Raha Hai Chalne Do..
Chupchap Adjust Karlo..


Friends Are Like: Priya Gold Biscuit – Haq Se Mango..
Girlfriends Are Like: Pepsi - Ye Dil Mange More..
Wife Is Like: A Medicine – Bas Ek Hi Kaafi Hai..


Barish Mein Yahi Dua Hai Meri Ki
Barish Ki Jitni Bunde Zamin Par Gire,
Utni Baar Aap Slip Ho Ke Gire,

.

.


Khushiyo Ke Samundar Mein..


Height Of Kaminapan:
Ek Ladka Bahut Hi Sad Song Sun Raha Tha Or Soch Raha Tha Ki..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kaunsi Wali Ko Yaad Karu Yaar..!!


LOVE V/S DAARU
Love- Pagal
Daru - Mood Fresh
Love - Nind Nahi
Daru - Mast Nind
Love - 1 Date Ke 2000/-
Daru - 1 Botel Ke 300/-
Love - Sabki Suno
Daru - Pee K Sunao
Faisla Aapka..



Jo Ghee Seedhi Ungli Se Na Nikle…
To..
.
.
.
.
.
Ghee Ko Garam Kar Lo..
Sab Baat Me Ungli Karna Achchi Baat Nahi Hai..


Agar Aadhi Raat Ko Aapka Mann Kare Aur Patni Ka Mood Na Ho
To
Patni Ko Pareshan Na Kare
.
Khud Uthkar Apne Aap Se
.
.
Pani Bhar Ke Pee Lein..


Sarvajanik Notice:
"Pedo Se Bhi Utna Hi 'Pyaar' Karo..
Jitna "Pedo Ke Neeche"
Aur

"Pedo Ke Peeche" Karte Ho..



Bunty: Ye Meri Wife Teena
Chintu: Are! Me Ise Janta Hu
Bunty: Kaise?
Chintu: Hum Dono Sath Me Sotey Hue Pakde Gaye The.
Bunty: Kya Baak Rahe Ho?
Chintu: Maths Ki Class Ke Lecture Mein.


5 Saal Ke Bachche Ne Pyar Ki Vyakhya Likhi
.
.
Pyaar Huggies Me Huyi Su-Su Ki Tarah Hota Hai,
Jo Dusro Ko Nahi Dikhta Par Khud Ko Feel Hota Hai..


Are Dikhao Na,
Ye Damann Me Kya Chhupate Ho…??
Bade Zaalim Ho Fir Kisi Ka Dil Chura Liya Tum Ne..!


Mard Aur Aurat Ka Rishta Bhi Saala Kaisa Ajeeb Bana Hai
Door Raho To JUDAI..
Aur Paas Raho To
.
.
.
LADAI…!!


Line Marne K Bahot Se Tarike Hai, Jin Me Se 2 Main Aap Ko Batata Hu..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(1) - Kachi Pencil Se.
(2) - Paki Pencil Se.

Drawing is the second thing in the world that requires hand and imagination...
.
.
.

You know better this…


Husband: Income is not sufficient; if you knew to cook we can remove Shef.
Wife: “Kamine, if u knew to f^*K watchman, gardener and driver.”


Jab se landline ki number series change hui hai aur number ke aage 2 lagana hai, tabh se computer operator kahti hai ke pehele dau dabao phir lagao.


College Ladaki = Phool
Usko Love Karna = Bhool
Jo issmein hai = cool
Tau uski ATKT = Full


GABBAR SINGH jab paida hua, tab usko maa ne dau zor se chamat mara…
Log bole, Kyun maar rahe ho bacche ko? – “MAA boli

Poochta hai “KITNE ADMI THEEY”?


“L” Ko Pakado,
“O” Ko Dabao,
“V” Me Ghusao,
Jab “E” Awaaz aye,
Tau Samajna LOVE pura ho gaya.


—>
——>
——–>
———->
Dekhna kabhi yeh teer teri Bumb mein na ghus jaye.


1950 ki Ladki
Pehla phela pyaar hai chai taiyaar hai,
Aajao sajana aapka intazaar hai.
2010 ki Ladki
Navva / dasva pyaar hai,
Mera Dil bekrar hai,
Aajao na darling warna gayarava taiyar hai.

3 Dirty Facts of Life
1) Garib aur breasts hamesha dabaye jate hai.
2) Mussibath aur Dick kahin bhi khade ho jaati hai.
3) Takdeer aur Bra Kahin bhi khulti hai.

When 3 Gujju traders met, they discussed business.
Manu Bhai – Dhanda Down che, Saari mein kuch nahi milta.
Papu Bhai – Blouse mein tau dau mil jate hai hame.
Jignesh Bhai – Ghaagre mein tau hamko he dalana padata hai.


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